as close as i've come to a panic attack...

...and how silly i felt after.
My husband and I would like to go back to the US.  so, yesterday he went to Ciudad Juarez for his immigration interview.  when i left him at the bus station i felt like he was leaving for a long time, even though it was only going to be 3 or 4 days.
This whole process has been really quite stressful.  this morning i came as close as i've come to haveing a panic attack, i mean thats what i assume it was.  and all day long i was worried with knots in my stomach and my head only 1/2 on my work- and the interview isnt even until tomorrow!  Then, while i was walking home from the grocery store, i realized: why am i worried?  being in mexico is fine.  being in the US would be fine.  I know that God will work out all the visa things, and everything, for where he wants us to be.  i've talked about it and i've said the words- but for some reason i was making myself physically unwell because of all the pressure i was putting on myself to KNOW what is going on. 
and just like that i'm alright.  i cant remember why it was so essential to KNOW everything.  I cant remember why I was so traumatized by the silly incompetence of the people who do this for a living.  i just feel silly now. it's hard, really hard, but we'll get there- when it's time.
so, until the next time i freak out...i'm still in mexico and i'm doing alright.