My husband sometimes does not have the same ideas that i have. So i am learning that if i want him to do something i need to let him know what i am thinking instead of getting mad at him after he doesnt do the thing that he didnt know i wanted him to do. so, a week or so before my birthday i mentioned how i was excited about finally celebrating my birthday with him. and i even mentioned that i wanted to separate valentines day and my birthday. and i asked him if he wanted me to think about what restaurant we could go to for my birthday cause we needed to make a reservation. but he said that he would take care of it. so i made myself trust him. but THEN, yesterday, the saturday before Feb 14, we were discussing the valentine's day/birthday plans. and he HADNT make reservations yet!!!! yes, i can say i was disappointed. but, still trusting him. so when he said he felt bad because i was mad at him i made sure he knew, i wasnt mad, i was waiting to see if i would be disappointed on monday or not.
i should have known...
Israel cleaned the house friday AND saturday
Israel had the table and chairs arranged like we always do for parties friday afternoon
Israel had a very specific schedule..."So, do you want to go running, come back here to eat, clean and do laundry, then we can go about 5pm to get the sushi things and maybe eat something, then watch Chivas at 7."
Israel informed me he was going to dress weird. and he did, his black dress pants and vest, white tshirt and white tennis shoes.
Israel made sure i had my keys, when i saw that he had his keys already
Israel suggested that we look to see what movies were out, even though we werent going to watch one cause he had to get back home to watch the soccer game. but then when I went to go look at the movies he walked away to answer the phone."
Israel decided to "keep driving" to go around the block to get home instead of the most direct way
Israel invited me to stay in the car when he went in to buy bread. I thought he was being nice because i was complaining about being cold and didnt want to get out of the car, but really he was going inside to make a secret phone call and he didnt want me there.
so, as Israel was making distracting conversation, and i took out my keys to open the door, answering his question, i opened the door and screamed. during my scream i wondered if perhaps i had unlocked and opened the door to someone else's house, but quickly dertermined that no, they were sitting on my couch and they were MY friends. I was shaking for a good 15-20 minutes after my shock and surprise. but it was good. Israel had pulled off a great surprise party for me. Caitlin did a great job of putting the details together. I was completely surprised and happy to have my friends celebrate my birthday with me on the day that according to MY schedule was suppose to be 6-monthaversary-eve.
So, i dont have to wait until monday to find out if i am disappointed by my husband's lack of planning for my birthday. I am very happy with my husband's planning of my birthday- i feel kind of bad for doubting him.
born in the US, living in Mexico. born Erickson, married into Martinez.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
am i racist?
Today, I was watching TV and something that the program said ( i dont remember what) made me think "They all think like that." meaning "Mexicans all think like that." Then, immediatly i sucked the words/thought back in. How racist of me!
The other day, a visiter from the United States made a comment, "there are a lot of weird beliefs here." she immediatly realized that didnt sound very politcally correct and mentioned that maybe she should have said "different" instead.
Living in a different country, emeresed in a different culture, surrounded by people who do not have the same knowledge set as you do shows a person how racist they are.
or is it racism?
no.
right?
Because my cultural knowledge base is different than that of the majority of people around me, and sometimes it is difficult to instantly distinguish what stems from universal truth and what stems from cultural knowledge, this does not make me racist.
but sometimes, it is true, I do think my beliefs are correct and others' are, simply, wrong. sometimes, i do find myself, honestly thinking, my beliefs are better than those of an entire country. do those count as inherent differences that lead to me believing my "race" is superior? no, i dont think so.
so, this is me being so scared of being racist that i convince myself i am. when really maybe i dont have anything to worry about? perhaps is it just an extension of the phenomena of political correctness that i grew up in. which has certainly affected me. and i cant decide if its a good thing or a bad thing.
The other day, a visiter from the United States made a comment, "there are a lot of weird beliefs here." she immediatly realized that didnt sound very politcally correct and mentioned that maybe she should have said "different" instead.
Living in a different country, emeresed in a different culture, surrounded by people who do not have the same knowledge set as you do shows a person how racist they are.
or is it racism?
no.
right?
Because my cultural knowledge base is different than that of the majority of people around me, and sometimes it is difficult to instantly distinguish what stems from universal truth and what stems from cultural knowledge, this does not make me racist.
but sometimes, it is true, I do think my beliefs are correct and others' are, simply, wrong. sometimes, i do find myself, honestly thinking, my beliefs are better than those of an entire country. do those count as inherent differences that lead to me believing my "race" is superior? no, i dont think so.
so, this is me being so scared of being racist that i convince myself i am. when really maybe i dont have anything to worry about? perhaps is it just an extension of the phenomena of political correctness that i grew up in. which has certainly affected me. and i cant decide if its a good thing or a bad thing.
Monday, December 20, 2010
...Christmas...
I have spent my whole life not celebrating Christmas. and this year my 3rd graders are all asking me things like "do you believe in Santa" and "what did you ask Santa for?" I don't like lying about these things but on the other hand i don't want to dash these kid's magical dreams and illusions. Afterall, I am the all knowing Ms Kristen of 3A and 3B. Even though i want to support them and keep them innocent a little while longer, I always seem to hesitate when they ask me.
"Miss, do you beleive in Santa"
"uhhhhhhhh" three blinks later "uhhh. yes."
I wonder if that gives them any doubt? I dont mean to do it... it just happens.
All the possible answers run through my head at once and none of them seem acceptable:
1) "yes" but i don't.
2) "no" or "Silly child, Santa doesnt exist!" Some of my kids would then begin to debate with me after these answers, but i'm sure once they get home...the doubt i planted would grow and grow. i just dont want to be THAT person.
3) or maybe i could skip the answer and go straight to the fact that my family never celebrated Christmas. but that would bring up a whole big discussion that would end with "why?" and if i want to keep up my honesty streak then i'd have to say somehow that Santa was a happy story to tell children and then expanded to create a bigger base for consumerism to extend the holiday "spirit." and that just wouldnt do either.
another outcome of the news that i dont celebrate Chirstmas would just be their blank faces. today a kid, randomly, asked me if i was catholic. i said "no." she then proceded to rack her brain for other religions. apparently if someone isn't catholic they MUST be Jewish. Explaining that I am a Christian who doesnt beleive that it is necessary nor historically correct to celebrate the birth of Jesus on Dec 24/25 would just be too much for these poor children...sometimes i bow their minds with the fact that I am American living in Mexico...
4) so, yes. i have to say "yes" even though it isn't the truth.
"Miss, do you beleive in Santa"
"uhhhhhhhh" three blinks later "uhhh. yes."
I wonder if that gives them any doubt? I dont mean to do it... it just happens.
All the possible answers run through my head at once and none of them seem acceptable:
1) "yes" but i don't.
2) "no" or "Silly child, Santa doesnt exist!" Some of my kids would then begin to debate with me after these answers, but i'm sure once they get home...the doubt i planted would grow and grow. i just dont want to be THAT person.
3) or maybe i could skip the answer and go straight to the fact that my family never celebrated Christmas. but that would bring up a whole big discussion that would end with "why?" and if i want to keep up my honesty streak then i'd have to say somehow that Santa was a happy story to tell children and then expanded to create a bigger base for consumerism to extend the holiday "spirit." and that just wouldnt do either.
another outcome of the news that i dont celebrate Chirstmas would just be their blank faces. today a kid, randomly, asked me if i was catholic. i said "no." she then proceded to rack her brain for other religions. apparently if someone isn't catholic they MUST be Jewish. Explaining that I am a Christian who doesnt beleive that it is necessary nor historically correct to celebrate the birth of Jesus on Dec 24/25 would just be too much for these poor children...sometimes i bow their minds with the fact that I am American living in Mexico...
4) so, yes. i have to say "yes" even though it isn't the truth.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
change
change. i kinda really like change. rearranging furniture just makes my day. clothes that i havent worn before (or in a long time) make me really happy. all the packing and unpacking that comes with moving gets me energized. Some would say that i had a really big change in my life recently. And yes, i would never want to down play the ring on my left left hand that wasnt there before. but i'm ready for CHANGE. all the people who are constantly asking me "how married life is" might think that it is too soon. but really that change doesnt feel like a change, it's normal. and for those of you who thought that moving to 3rd grade was a big change...really? I still have 50 kids who, for some reason, go crazy when i am the authority in the room.
So, I need a change.
Should I join a dance class? Should I learn yoga? redecorate my house? go back to school? have a baby? get a second job?
well, i'd need to convince israel too. i dont know where i'd do that. it's expensive and i'm moving in 6 months anyway. whoa. not such a good idea if i'm just looking for a change. too much responsibility and hours.
ok... i guess ill need to work on my list of changes or maybe work on my list of cons so i can actually be convinced.
p.s. Courtney, everytime i put a comma i thought of your fb status about commas in the wrong places. i took a lot of my commas out....I hope you understand this
So, I need a change.
Should I join a dance class? Should I learn yoga? redecorate my house? go back to school? have a baby? get a second job?
well, i'd need to convince israel too. i dont know where i'd do that. it's expensive and i'm moving in 6 months anyway. whoa. not such a good idea if i'm just looking for a change. too much responsibility and hours.
ok... i guess ill need to work on my list of changes or maybe work on my list of cons so i can actually be convinced.
p.s. Courtney, everytime i put a comma i thought of your fb status about commas in the wrong places. i took a lot of my commas out....I hope you understand this
Sunday, November 14, 2010
i'm a dork
So, I was listening to a podcast, Stuff Mom Never Told You from HowStuffWorks.com. and they intersting things about purses, or hand bags.
First of all, are women's hand bags a symbol of our independance and self sufficiency? Women didnt use big purses when they relied of the men to pay for everything. When the purse began to be a siganture of a women's wardrobe was when women began to have jobs and need to be out of the house more. Thus, away from relying on men to take care of everything. But are purses a good social trend for women? When a high power women is wearing a high power suit and she looks professional and ready to "fight with the guys" does having a purse benefit her or hinder her?
Dr Freud had an intersting theory. He said that a purse represented the women's vagina. If we take that into consideration then if a business women is trying to make it in an "all man's" world then the purse is her coworkers constant reminder that she is a women. Not so benifitial...
On the other hand, I dont think women want to be lumped into the same category as men. We want the same right and respect but we are WOMEN we are not men. thus carrying around a purse is a way to symbolize that we are women but at the same time we are not the women who relied on men. we are independant. we dont need a man to pay for everything. we dont need a man to supply cigarettes. we can take care of ourselves. In this way, a purse is a good sign of independence.
so, I dont know maybe its just the social norms that have conditioned women to be use to the certain conviences that purses provide plus the importance society has placed on the fashion world or maybe a purse has a much bigger meaning in our lives.
First of all, are women's hand bags a symbol of our independance and self sufficiency? Women didnt use big purses when they relied of the men to pay for everything. When the purse began to be a siganture of a women's wardrobe was when women began to have jobs and need to be out of the house more. Thus, away from relying on men to take care of everything. But are purses a good social trend for women? When a high power women is wearing a high power suit and she looks professional and ready to "fight with the guys" does having a purse benefit her or hinder her?
Dr Freud had an intersting theory. He said that a purse represented the women's vagina. If we take that into consideration then if a business women is trying to make it in an "all man's" world then the purse is her coworkers constant reminder that she is a women. Not so benifitial...
On the other hand, I dont think women want to be lumped into the same category as men. We want the same right and respect but we are WOMEN we are not men. thus carrying around a purse is a way to symbolize that we are women but at the same time we are not the women who relied on men. we are independant. we dont need a man to pay for everything. we dont need a man to supply cigarettes. we can take care of ourselves. In this way, a purse is a good sign of independence.
so, I dont know maybe its just the social norms that have conditioned women to be use to the certain conviences that purses provide plus the importance society has placed on the fashion world or maybe a purse has a much bigger meaning in our lives.
Monday, November 08, 2010
why you should judge people
I roll my eyes and get annoyed when people complained about not being able to sleep without their spouse.
I look on with disbelief and pure incomprehension when children run screaming with delight when their father came home from a trip.
and then. this weekend.
Israel has to go out of town last friday. At first it was ok. I got to spend more time with my friends on friday afternoon (until 11pm). And i got to sleep with my computer in my bed again. and i woke up sat morning not having to think about anything! i ate when i wanted. i washed the dishes when i wanted. and then i sat around some more and started thinking about when israel would come home. then he called and said he wouldnt be home until sunday. ok. now i'm getting bored. and when it was time for bed, i couldnt get myself to sleep in the bed. I convinced myself that it was because if Israel was here i couldnt sleep on the couch, that would be weird! so on the couch i slept.
and when sunday turned into monday and monday into tuesday....I'm still sleeping on the couch.
I try to hide my huge disappointment when he calls and says he needs one more day. I try to say that it's ok, "stay, do everything you need to do." But the words dont come out very truthfully and he can tell. Today on the way home from school i day dreamed about running and jumping into his arms... just like the kids i mocked previously.
Of course I do SLEEP, and soundly too, not much changes that... but i am sleeping on the couch, and the decision to get into the sheets i put on the couch and under that blanket and turn off the light is difficult. I just dont what to do that because he isnt here....remind you of something?
So, what did i learn this weekend? If I had never had that experience of mocking people for being attached to another human being i would never have realized how ridiculous i am being right now... so in conclusion: judge people. it makes for more enriched personal reflection
I look on with disbelief and pure incomprehension when children run screaming with delight when their father came home from a trip.
and then. this weekend.
Israel has to go out of town last friday. At first it was ok. I got to spend more time with my friends on friday afternoon (until 11pm). And i got to sleep with my computer in my bed again. and i woke up sat morning not having to think about anything! i ate when i wanted. i washed the dishes when i wanted. and then i sat around some more and started thinking about when israel would come home. then he called and said he wouldnt be home until sunday. ok. now i'm getting bored. and when it was time for bed, i couldnt get myself to sleep in the bed. I convinced myself that it was because if Israel was here i couldnt sleep on the couch, that would be weird! so on the couch i slept.
and when sunday turned into monday and monday into tuesday....I'm still sleeping on the couch.
I try to hide my huge disappointment when he calls and says he needs one more day. I try to say that it's ok, "stay, do everything you need to do." But the words dont come out very truthfully and he can tell. Today on the way home from school i day dreamed about running and jumping into his arms... just like the kids i mocked previously.
Of course I do SLEEP, and soundly too, not much changes that... but i am sleeping on the couch, and the decision to get into the sheets i put on the couch and under that blanket and turn off the light is difficult. I just dont what to do that because he isnt here....remind you of something?
So, what did i learn this weekend? If I had never had that experience of mocking people for being attached to another human being i would never have realized how ridiculous i am being right now... so in conclusion: judge people. it makes for more enriched personal reflection
you learn something new...
I just thought i'd share 4 things i learned this week:
::sigh:: i like it when my students teach me things
a thief is an enemy of the police
a chief is lake o fireman
diesel is a drink of gasoline
the New World was when America was lost but Colombus found it
...there was one more that was really funny....but i forgot it and the paper is at school.::sigh:: i like it when my students teach me things
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