on my way...

recently i have been realizing that i live in complicated place of not being able to decide where i am.  part of the reason is that i notice a few things that i like and assume the whole package is aligned with my moral philosophy.  another reason that i am in this state of confusion is because i have been looking to other peoples role models instead of deciding where i, myself, want to end up and heading there.  the biggest problem with other peoples role models is that because i didnt evaluate them for myself they disappoint me--also, they might not be 100% in line with what i want... you know? 
Things like this remind me that even though i'm 27, married, a teacher, and a responsible adult i have SO much growing up to do.  but I have no desire to be like most of the adults that i see.  this complicated place? --working out what parts of "grown up" makes sense for me and which ones are just frilly space-fillers that i dont want.  i need to grow up, and by that i just mean, solidfy my own personal values and stick to them- dont let others convictions waver my own.

can i call this luck?

im not a particularly unlucky person. nor would i call myself lucky.  but today I had a couple surprisingly lucky things happen.

1) i had a meeting in an office to which I had never been. On my way i misinterpreted my surroundings and turned a couple corners i wasnt intended to turn.  Luckily i still ended up on the right street and found the office without difficulty. Good huh?

2) i had 70 pesos in my wallet when i left my house.  I went to the store and spent 40 something.  I paid with my 50 peso bill.  I got handed 450 something change.  When i mentioned the mistake the clerk didnt believe me! she called over the manager to tell him that i insisted i had payed with a 50 but she recieved a 500.  she asked me like 5 times.  Man, why do i have to be so honest?

maybe thats not enough to call it a lucky day but after the day i had with my students its nice to know the universe isnt all bad and out to get me.

i need a car

some people might think i need a car to get around.  that a car is essential, especially during rainy season, in order to be able to get out of the house and do things.  Some people might think that a car is important because you are more freedom to move around the city or area you live.
not me.
I need a car for music.
When i had a car it was one of my favorite things, drive and listen to music.  watch the world move past me as i was engulfed in the feeling, sound, and feeling of the songs.  this is one reason why i like air conditioning, so i can close the windows and really seal in all the good sounds.  although at night with the dark quiet air coming in through the open window is definitely just as good.
I was just listening to a shakira album, Oral Fixation vol 2.  and i could just see capital blvd with food lion shopping center, target, up the hill, down the hill, the Y with luisburg outside my window and over the steering wheel.  When i listen to, or even think of, Don Omar's album King of Kings i am driving on 540 in the middle of the night.  no other cars around.  certain songs from Cascada transport me to new bern rd and the drive to the bennets house.  the back roads to Francis's mom's house hold some of the most calming and enjoyable moments ill ever remember.
This is why i need a car.  I need to make these types of memories, here, in my new home.  I know i wouldnt even drive that much- but the option of hopping into the car and choosing the cd and just going somewhere.  this is my new home and i need to have my music driving therapy to make it that much more a home.

DIY necklace organizer

I made a thing to hold and hang my necklaces on.  Here is the short version of the process...

I found a piece of Styrofoam and cut it to a size I thought would be appropriate

These are the materials that I envisioned the final product to use.

I stapled and glued the cloth to the Styrofoam.  This held really good

Here you can see the beginning of my huge mess being created in the background. In the foreground are pushpins that indicate where the screws will go.

This was (what I thought was) the most difficult part of the project.  I had made the holes for the screws before putting the cloth of the base and then I cut a small slit with the scissors so the screw did not get caught in clothe while being pushed and twisted into position.

Finally, I glued buttons onto the heads of the screws to make it look cute!

Sadly, I had forgotten to make a specific plan for how to hang it on the wall.  here is my first attempt. it failed.  all the necklaces fell on the floor after about 30 seconds.

see??! it looks NICE!! right?!?!  it failed.  all the necklaces fell on the floor after about 30 seconds.

do you see something different? besides the fact that all the necklaces are hanging?

Yeah.  After three failed attempts with the first base and creation I had to start from scratch.  New everything. 

Here is the final product next to the earing hanger I also made.

politics

I dont know what to do with the world.  Something needs to be done.  but I just dont know what to do!


1) I am very sensitive to immigration, especially when it separates families.  I personally know people who go to the US to make a better life for themselves and either leave their family behind or are forced back to their country and have to leave their family in the US.  Both make me so extremely awfully sad.  Families should not be separated.  Husbands stay with your wives! physical presence that she can get comfort, joy and strength from is worth so much more than the money you send.  isnt it? shouldnt it be? mothers stay with your children! they need you to show them how to be strong, how to survive, how to love and be loved.  the money you make might feed them, but wont their heart ache more?  its true I might not know what i'm talking about because i have never lived in desperate conditions- but I do know its not how it SHOULD be. 
and Government: can't we figure out how to let everyone have a chance?  a chance to have a life, so no one feels desperate enough to risk so much just to have citizenship.  if they know the risks and take them on doesnt that mean something? doesnt that show how desperate they are?

2) Why do we need laws about gay or same sex marriages?  why does that have to be part of the basis of a government that claims to be separate from religion?  If it is already a law was it necessary to put it into the constitution?  I am not gay.  I would never even suggest that i begin to understand what ridicule or issues someone who is gay has to deal with.  But, why do WE have to decide if its "ok" or not for a girl to have a girlfriend.  according to my parents no one should have a girlfriend!  but does that mean they condemned me when i chose to go against that idealology? did they shun me when i chose to live my life in a way that is not their preferred way?  did they lock me up for what i decided would make me happy because they didnt want to have to explain it to their friends? no, and i am so thankful for that. 
Who decided that gay marriages is a worse sin than teenage rebellion and disrespect to their parents? ok, ok  i'm working myself up and maybe i'm not making sense anymore...Maybe if someone explained to me why they thought it was necessary it could make a little more sense.  I really would like to hear arguments in favor of the NC marriage amendment.

putting aside the law for a moment, can i just ask all the teachers and parents to let kids be kids? Dont worry about them being gay or straight.  they are kids and they get enough judgement from their peers.  Let the 3 year old boy dress up in his older sisters dress up toys!  let the 6 year old girl follow her daddy around in the garage! and can you do it without commenting on how you are worried they might be gay when they grow up?

3) Elections.  Please dont treat them like a sports team favorite.  if you want a sports analogy, maybe you can use the draft from pro sports.  cause that is as close as it comes to choosing someone (one person) who will work to make you better as a whole.  if you are going to discuss who you think might be the best person to win an election dont have your number one argument be "because I am a ___ and he/she is a ___"  choose the issues you care about and choose the person who you trust to make decisions as close to the ones you would make.  if you can put yourself into on political parties box of issues- good! but dont hate me if i dont agree with all that parties stands for.  WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT!!  we can still talk, maybe even hang out, its possible to even be friends. 


the end. I dont now when my list of things that i have had on my mind changed into my pleas for social understanding but i think ive stood on my soap box enough for today.  after some recent conversations and experiences i just needed to get some stuff off my chest. thanks for reading.

I am amazing!!

I am so proud of this thing.  I had this idea from a random blog I stumbled upon and quickly whatsapped my little sister to tell her of the project.  Then when a chance to go to a wedding at home (where there are many thrift store options) came up I couldn't resist to put my genius to work! 
I quickly made an appointment with little sister to make sure we would have time to hit as many thrift stores as possible.  I told my mom of my idea and she told me to keep my wardrobe options open...just in case it didn't work quite as well as I had planned.
But I knew I could do it.  and I knew it would be awesome!
So, I headed to the airport to head to the States to head to a thrift store.  I mean, I only had a few days and the wedding was on Saturday!!
My sister and I headed straight to the men's shirt section of the store.  We started pulling out shirts that had nice or interesting patterns and colors.  We found quite a few.  So we headed to the dressing room.  (Yes, my favorite thrift stores have dressing rooms.)
Now here are some pointers if you would like to copy my inspired craft project.

• When choosing a shirt you should make sure that the pattern/color transfers well into the women's clothing too.
• You should have a shirt that is not tailors too much that it wont fit around your hips.
• It shouldn't have too long tails or you'll end up doing more sewing to make the hem nicer.
• But unless you want a mini mini dress, it should have some length.
• If the shirt has a seam across the shoulder blades, it looks a little strange.
• If it has one of those loops in the middle of that seam it looks really strange.
• A material that flows is nicer than one that is really stiff.

After discovering all these pointers through personal trial and error I finally had the shirt for me!  I took it home and to the "ooh"s and "ahhh"s of my mother I presented my trophy and we started working.

I have four arms!!!

Wrap the arms around the back and tuck and pull the back to fall into a cute sort of buttoned "train"

We made some adjustments to the front, this is only necessary if you are looking for a more formal look, like I was.

We flipped up the collar to make some pleats and darts

The collar is lain down to hide all the folds and adjustments.  I think this shirt was MADE to be a dress!

This is how to attached one arm of the shirt, heavy duty Velcro!

we attached the other arm with small hooks.  The Velcro worked better...

this is the back of the dress all put together, the buttons of the shirt are used for the skirt part then the arms cover the back of the bodice.

And here is a view of the front of the dress!

 I ended up doing more than is necessary because I wanted a more formal dress.  I was wearing it to one of my best friend's wedding.  I cut the arms to attach them more neatly.  I added a hem.  oh, that was all.

If I ever live in a place that has thrift stores I will most likely do this again, but make a simple summer dress instead.  My little sister found a perfect light flowey silk-type shirt without shirt tails that would have been amazing as a summer dress.  Just put it on, button the buttons and tie the arms.  It was perfect for her because she is shorter and slighter than me.  I'll just have to put this on my list of things to do when I do move back to the states.  Anyone with me?

Yes, I have a picky husband

 I have been taking some random recipes from Stumbleupon or some blogs I read and trying them.  My husband is only sometimes on board.  So sometimes I have to hide the ingredients from him, or just don't offer it to him to begin with.  But I've had fun!!
Here are three of the things I have tried recently:

carrot apple ginger soup
I only took pictures of the beginning process. I always forget one or the other, either you see how I made it... or you see what I made...hmmm someday I'll get better.

After boiling all these things so they are soft I just put them into the blender to liquify them and make a kind of cream looking soup.  Only there is no cream!! pretty good.  and my husband ate it!  I'll admit he dumped croutons in first then shoveled it in his mouth so quickly so he didn't have to taste it very long, but he ate it.  and without complaints!  We'll see what he says when I make it again...

The next thing I have a picture of is something my husband didn't have ANY complaints about while eating it.  I do admit it was a little bit weird because I had offered to make pizzas before and he always came up with a different idea. But finally i just did it.  And the whole prep process he thought it was a bad idea, I don't understand why.  But once it was done, he was a HAPPY man.  the only problem is that I forgot which crust recipe I used! and it was good.... I'll have to experiment a little to find it again.

 My pizza is the one with tomato, spinach, and ham.  His is the one with ham and pineapple. 

One weekend I was home alone, I don't remember why.  But I decided I wanted something sweet for breakfast.  This was what won my vote.  cinnamon roll pancakes!!
the pancake part of this recipe was not the best, but I'm sure next time I can substitute my better recipe for the pancake part and just use the cinnamon roll part from this recipe!

 It was so good!  The sugar caramelized in some bites and integrated into the pancake in others.  very good!!  It does make a big mess while you are trying to hold the bag of "syrup" and when you flip the pancake, though.  There was one left over after I ate my breakfast and I put it aside to save for the next day's breakfast.  But my husband found it first and he let me know I should make them more often.

And, finally! Applesauce! made in my slow cooker that I was finally able to bring from home.  I guess a year a half after the wedding if I am still being able to use presents as new i shouldn't complain.  This way the excitement of using new things lasts longer!!  I read a lot of applesauce recipes and then just decided to do it myself. 

 I used the bag of green cheap apples I found at the supermarket and a stick of cinnamon I had in my cupboard.  Then I let it sit and cook and simmer.

Israel did not try this.  Of course i didn't offer it to him.  But from all the comments about "its still there? Apples?  what are you making? it's not done yet?"  it would have been a struggle to get him to try it.  Next time he'll try it and he'll like it.  I just have to offer it to him in the right way (i.e. don't give him a choice) and he will realize its actually pretty good.